she says 'fart'.

Lastnight, I actually thought about putting chocolate chips on my salad. Let me explain: My husband and I have been doing this ‘thing’ the last couple of weeks. It’s not a diet, but we’ve cut all breads, wheat and grains out of our daily food consumption. We eat meat, fruits and vegetables. Mostly. We tend to cheat. A dark chocolate candy bar here, a bowl of granola cereal there. (We allow ourselves one thing a day so it better be worth it.) We even had turkey burgers the other night sans bread. We wrapped them in lettuce. It was good. Seriously.

So why are we doing this? Well, the husband was hoping to lose a couple of pounds and I was just hoping to cleanse, more or less. (Feeling like I need to drag myself through every mundane task of my day is draining and sad at 28.) Last time we did this it was over a weekend and there was no meat involved and I was starving and weak, and I think my stomach ate a portion of itself, quiet literally. So this time, I wasn’t looking forward to a ‘cleanse’. I, however, have felt great. It’s amazing. We let ourselves cheat all day on Superbowl Sunday and by that evening we were keeling over, letting out disgusting room-clearing farts, and burping uncontrollably. Our stomachs were in protest of the fried chicken, brownies, cupcakes, chips and dips, and calzones. It’s really incredible the difference you feel, which is why I’m still avoiding the animal crackers and cookies with ease.

And the turkey burger thing is awesome. I’m so serious. I dare you to try it.