New. Everything is new right now. This is even the first time I'm blogging from my phone. That was the first time I added 'blogging' to my phone's auto correct. This is the first new phase of my new life and I'm just sitting here trying to survive. Yes, I have a beautiful new baby, yes I am now part of a new 'family', but my gosh, it takes a bit of stamina and sheer will-power to adjust to 'new'.
I'm not a complainer, usually I'm a go-getter. A do-it-aller, a firecracker. I'm a to-do lister. A project-starter. The girl you hate because she seems to find time to do it all. All that stuff you wish you knew how to do. Well, she's a thing of the past my friends. Or at least she's on a temporary leave of absence. For now I find myself just getting by, trying to get enough sleep to function during the 'light' hours and maybe even accomplish a thing or two, like washing diapers or showering. Nothing fancy really, if I have dinner planned and made, it's a good day.
That being said, I know I'm blessed. I have a beautiful, healthy, calm and happy baby. I have a wonderful husband who strives to make sure I'm 'ok'. I have the ability financially to stay home {thanks to said husband} and try to get the hang of this new career that I now have the utmost respect for. And we have blessings beyond our deserving, thanks to an amazing thing called grace.
So here I sit, up at midnight again, keeping this baby warm and upright to avoid upsetting her tummy after our last feeding, and I'm thinking about all the other new mothers out there. Sitting up alone in the dark of night wondering just what they got themselves into. Just like me, alone, but equally part of an unspoken world, trying to give everyone the illusion that we are just fine, 'doing great!' we say, but really, we would all jump at the chance for a good nights sleep and a bit of makeup.
But that's life, and it's a new adventure. Just like breaking in a new pair of shoes. There's going to be pain, maybe a couple of blisters and even a little blood. But if they're cute, it's so worth it.
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