New. Everything is new right now. This is even the first time I'm blogging from my phone. That was the first time I added 'blogging' to my phone's auto correct. This is the first new phase of my new life and I'm just sitting here trying to survive. Yes, I have a beautiful new baby, yes I am now part of a new 'family', but my gosh, it takes a bit of stamina and sheer will-power to adjust to 'new'.
I'm not a complainer, usually I'm a go-getter. A do-it-aller, a firecracker. I'm a to-do lister. A project-starter. The girl you hate because she seems to find time to do it all. All that stuff you wish you knew how to do. Well, she's a thing of the past my friends. Or at least she's on a temporary leave of absence. For now I find myself just getting by, trying to get enough sleep to function during the 'light' hours and maybe even accomplish a thing or two, like washing diapers or showering. Nothing fancy really, if I have dinner planned and made, it's a good day.
That being said, I know I'm blessed. I have a beautiful, healthy, calm and happy baby. I have a wonderful husband who strives to make sure I'm 'ok'. I have the ability financially to stay home {thanks to said husband} and try to get the hang of this new career that I now have the utmost respect for. And we have blessings beyond our deserving, thanks to an amazing thing called grace.
So here I sit, up at midnight again, keeping this baby warm and upright to avoid upsetting her tummy after our last feeding, and I'm thinking about all the other new mothers out there. Sitting up alone in the dark of night wondering just what they got themselves into. Just like me, alone, but equally part of an unspoken world, trying to give everyone the illusion that we are just fine, 'doing great!' we say, but really, we would all jump at the chance for a good nights sleep and a bit of makeup.
But that's life, and it's a new adventure. Just like breaking in a new pair of shoes. There's going to be pain, maybe a couple of blisters and even a little blood. But if they're cute, it's so worth it.
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Oh, Cheri. Welcome to motherhood. No one can prepare you and even watching friends go through it doesn't seem to matter when it's finally your turn. Just know that you are not alone. You have joined the club of motherhood. Women have been members since the earth's beginning. Feeling the same things you are feeling. All trying to look like we have it together on the outside when we know we are a hot mess on the inside. This newborn phase, well, frankly, it sucks and it feels like it lasts Forever! (that's because of the lack of sleep) but once you start sleeping from midnight till 6 am again, you'll start to feel like your old self. And around 4 mo you'll actually feel like you are enjoying this mothering gig, because showers come on a daily basis once again and you can leave the house with make-up on and your hair done. So hold on sister and if you need it, don't be afraid to ask another mother to hold you up. ;)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, have you heard of a group called M.O.P.S. in your area? It stands for mothers of preschoolers and you qualify to be a member when you become pregnant with your first child. It's christian based and a great way to meet other moms and older moms who have lots of good advice. It's basically a mothering support group with babysitting and food. Look into it. I've been a art of our group here for years and it has been a blessing to me.
ReplyDeletei don't know, my entry in the mr linky isn't working. anyhow, yes, motherhood is stinking hard. yes it does get easier after you've done it once, but there are always new challenges. such is life, right... around each corner lies a new challenge, a new experience that may be adaptable or difficult. and all of it makes us better in the long run.
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxoxo praying for you!! It is all soooooo worth it!! miss you like crazy!!!! get a plane ticket to OK and I will take care of that bebe so you can sleep!!;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm very excited about this blog! Glad we all are doing it, and I hope we all get inspiration from it too!
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